The Art of Conflict

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 The Art of Conflict


People Pleasing


    According to an online poll posted in 2022, "about half (47%) of American adults believe that other people in their life would definitely or probably describe them as a people-pleaser. Among women, 51% believe others see them this way, and 42% of men say the same" (Ballard, 2022). With at least half of the population in the United States stating they are 'people pleasers,' that can lead to people avoiding conflict and instead being a friend, co-worker, or employee that always says "yes." Although there is value in being a person who is willing to say "yes", there is equal value in knowing when to say "no". Too often, people are afraid that saying no will create conflict, so it is avoided, but saying no can actually be helpful at times. Researchers studied conflict within the workplace and concluded that, "conflict can, in fact, be positive if it is managed properly. Conflict can promote team-building skills, critical thinking, new ideas, and alternative resolutions. Conflict management is a crucial competency that leaders must possess, for the success of the team, group, unit, or employees they lead" (Ronquillo et al., 2023). Avoiding conflict is inevitable, so we should stop shying away from saying "no" and instead address conflict with a good approach.


A Team Approach


    One way to build rapport with co-workers is to include them in initial decision-making. Frazier and Hearrington (2024) emphasize the importance of this when discussing the particular role of a technology coordinator. They say, "it is important for the technology coordinator to communicate with district and building administration, curriculum committees, and other constituencies to identify perceived technology needs and wants throughout the district" (p. 185). Through the formation of these teams, people will feel connected to their co-workers, therefore allowing them to feel comfortable to express their "no" when needed. This also is a great conflict prevention strategy because it will enable the team to be unified from the beginning. Starting as a unified team allows the team to work towards the same unified goal, which is essential to success.


Conflict Resolution Skills


    Along with having a team approach, learning particular skills to increase conflict resolution is always helpful. These skills can be developed through intentional work. The skills below are some of the key skills needed for successful conflict resolution within the work place. 


The Art of Saying No


    If you are anything like me, saying no can still be scary at times- even when it is appropriate and needed. Kenny Nguyen discusses the reasons why saying no is crucial for not only your success but also the success of everyone around you. He emphasizes the importance of saying no to be able to prepare you to say "yes" to the right thing. Watch his Ted Talk below to learn more about the art of saying no. 









References

FBallard, J. (2022, August 22). Women are more likely than men to say they’re a people-pleaser, and many dislike being seen as one. YouGov. https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/43498-women-more-likely-men-people-pleasing-poll
 
Frazier, M., & Hearrington, D. (2024a). Technology Coordinator’s Handbook, Fourth Edition: A Guide for Edtech Facilitators and Leaders.
 
Ronquillo, Y., Ellis, V. L., & Toney-Butler, T. J. (2023, July 3). Conflict management. StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470432/






Comments

  1. Mallory SwinsickApril 3, 2025 at 10:42 AM

    Our principal does a great job of including our faculty in on as many decision as she possibly can. I completely agree that this has built rapport and our faculty takes being told no much better than they would if we didn't have that rapport built. According to Frazier and Hearrington (2024), communication between the the technology coordinator and the building principal is key. This will help resolve possible future conflict with decision making.

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  2. The Digital EducatorApril 3, 2025 at 5:58 PM

    Meredith, I love that you used the idea of conflict resolution (and positive effects of that) to post about saying no. These two definitely go hand-in-hand. I think most people equate "conflict resolution" as a negative thing or as a result of some huge blow-up between colleagues. On the contrary, being able to communicate about ideas and come to a consensus is so important, especially in the role of a Technology Director (Frazier & Hearrington, 2024). It's similar to thinking about feedback as always negative when in fact, feedback is necessary for growth and learning.

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